Hiiiii,
I
cannot say if the feelings I have for her are real. I just know that I feel
this feeling of great joy and happiness when I think of her. She makes me feel
special and wanted. No one has done that till now. I don’t know how the relationship between us two will
change, but I think it will not. I am not scared to
confront her about my feelings. Tomorrow, I want to go up to her and tell her
how I feel about her, but I won’t. Only for
one reason. She means so much to me and I just don’t want to hurt her feelings. I desired to go out with...... who was the
first love of my life. She will also be the last. I don’t want to fall in love with her. I am too scared.
I just do not want to hurt her. I think I am in love with her, but I tell no
one about my feelings. To tell you the truth. I care not for her good looks. The only thing
that I believe I have is feeling for or love for her mind. I love the way she thinks. Just thinking about how she thinks just runs shivers down
my spine. I want to know her. I want to be with her.
Now, you are probably saying to yourself, “God! He seems to have great feelings for her. He even seems a little
obsessive and messed up; he could even be a little
crazy! Well to tell you the truth, I am tired
of everyone calling me crazy. The only way that I could be crazy, is that I am
crazy in love with her. I know that I am young. 25 and going on 26, but I
believe that I am in love with her. If only I could
tell her how I feel. I do not know what is going to happen. Will I still love
her in a week? A month? A year? Or could I love her for the rest of my
natural-born life? I will never know. I was going to tell her how I felt about
her two days ago, but my fears of hurting her where too great. I wrote her a
letter that I was going to email her. Where is the passion? Online love
letters. Well, I spent a
long time trying to make the letter perfect so that she would fall immediately in love with me and that she would want me to be with
her forever. I even read it over and over to make sure that there were no
mistakes and that everything was perfect.” I
wish I had sent it out. I am going to kick myself all of my life. I will forever have the question over my shoulder that will be: What if?
And then I will be in a state of flux my whole life.
Ok. Enough with the jabber. Here is the letter: (Don't expect
Shakespeare) You might ask yourself that and wonder who this "Prince
Charming," this "Romeo...is? and then who this SHE
is?" This SHE is no other than “KHUSHI”….my
Love. Do you ever dream of someone being there who will understand you and feel
what you feel? Though, what is even more torture to you, is that what you have in
your dreams. Then, you wait and you desire this person to be even more perfect
the day you imagined me. In your search for "Mr. Perfect," you find
nothing but simpletons and foolish look-alikes that want to use you like a
trophy or such a mantelpiece on which flourishes their home. You are no trophy
to me. I cannot lie to say that I am totally oblivious to you. In fact, it is
totally opposite of the way I feel for you. I am no "Romeo," nor
"Prince Charming," or either am I "Mr. Perfect," but I will
be blissful if I am even anything like these characters to you. Laugh if you
must. I am not afraid anymore and now I have the guts to look into your eyes
and state my love for you. I will not feel ashamed to say it. You mean the
world to me. Always waiting for a poetry from you……
